Category Archives: St. Isidore

St. Isidore, The Deluge

What Can I Expect In 2017?

What Can I Expect In 2017?

Tom wants to hurt me, suddenly.   He was always throwing his substantial weight around.  Now he is throwing it at me.  Tom is my male turkey.  He is big.  Really big.  Even when he is not puffed up.  I’m used to him shadowing me when I enter his domain. 50X15 of internal fencing meant to contain and protect my eight waterfowl and turkeys (now numbering 2).  I’m not used to him charging me when I turn my back.  I was used to my billy goat nudging me and always kept a close eye, and sometimes a thick stick in hand when I dealt with the Boer goats.  A new paradigm.  An evolution.  A potential hazard.  Why am I surprised?

It’s my nature to be surprised when relationships change.  It’s to my shock when my purview collides with a new reality.  It’s my demoralization when my handling of new circumstances with familiar methods fails to yield familiar results.  I certainly resist preparing myself for the challenges of new people, places and things.  I am a mark for every grifter, whiner, or malignant narcissist who leans on my country gate.  These occurrences empty my pockets.  They strain my sympathies.  They mar my humanity.  I don’t want to abandon mankind and become a hermit.  I do want to better prepare for those who will surely be leaning on my gate in 2017.

The flood in May at Sawmyl Synders Farm changed a lot of things, not all for the worse.  For details of the deluge, see prior blogs.  On the down side, my plans for future expansion of farm endeavors are permanently canceled.  On the up side, I’m not completely giving up, but rather adopting plan B, which I still haven’t fully fleshed out.  As for the up side, my eyes were opened to many things.  I need to have a lifelong pursuit that is not challenged by the vagaries of weather, people, or health.  What might that be?  Do tell.  Next up side, I realize there are people in my life who are more important than flood prone property and death dependent livestock.  My bundles of joy:  wife, children, grandchildren.  Always have a life to live separate from them but never think of living your life without them.  My wife is retiring.  My children are building.  My g-kids are awakening.

Another up side awakened in me when that flood tried to drown my spirit.  The Church.  Christian Church.  St. Issidores.  The new spirituality entered me like a lamb and has since been my challenging lion.  The only people who came out in the night in my water-logged hour of need were those genuine believers at a church who called me family before I knew that I was.  Now, I say challenging my lion because I stepped into the church with no doors with my eyes closed to distrust, open to mutuality and accepting of appropriate difference.  The eye opening occurrences have stunned me.  I know that I am naive for my years.  I know I should have put on my big boy pants before entering the unknown-to-me land of mission.  What did I discover?  Desperate people do desperate things.  Tribal behavior remains when tribes merge.  The young act young, that’s their only fault.  My discoveries demand that I change.  Reality can be patient but it is also indifferent to persistent myopia.

Three things stand in the way of 2017 becoming a better year than 2016.  The first resists any form of control but respects preparation, resilience, and reverence.  The weather.  She is not God but she has his ear and she should have ours.  A rain slick and rubber boots is nice.  Even if the deluge is belly button high.  With boots full of water and a slick soaked on the inside it’s still nice to know – you were prepared.  If the water didn’t carry you away, you can be sure of three things.  The rain will stop.  You are alive to start rebuilding.  Nobody knows the trouble you’ve seen (so don’t pay any attention to their bromides and bloviation).

The second thing that stands in the way of a better year is something you can’t control but you can influence.  People.  Again there are three things to incorporate into influencing people.  No.  Say no.  When what they want is not what you want – say no.  Next, boundaries.  Money?  How much do you want to give or spend versus how much the charity case will try for (as much as you have?).  Accommodation?  Every tribe has their nomenclature and ritual but when in Rome – act appropriately.  Harsh reproach won’t work on just about anyone out of diapers.  Example and suggestion might but sometimes a cause has to be lost in order for the possibility of other higher causes to be successful.  Finally, choices.  When individuals render themselves of no useful purpose, then your purpose for them is no use.  Let go so that another opportunity with another person may be allowed in.

The last thing that stands in the way of a better tomorrow is the thing that yields to control, influence, preparation, resilience, and reverence.  You.  Or me in this case.  My year will be better if my health and welfare get high priority.  Take care of my heath and wealth.  Build on the ruin of real failure and rejoice in discovery of goodness in near misses and great good fortune.  Take every opportunity to gain from the things that happen and don’t, that frighten and inspire.  Treasure all you have.  Avoid turning great bounty into sour grapes.  Stay true to your evolving beliefs and deny false prophets from entering in to what has proven to be true to you your entire life.  Being positive isn’t always the answer but having both binocular forward vision and a rear view mirror perspective adds to your chances.  What am I getting at?  Yes, go high but don’t forget your lows.  What is still the biggest mystery?  Who is always the hardest to convince?  Why is everything that is so important so hard?  Where can all the answers be found?  When will change stop?  When will hope begin?

House Church

Matthew 20:1-16King James Version (KJV)

1 For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which went out early in the morning to hire labourers into his vineyard.  The kingdom of heaven resembles a householder who hires laborers to work in his vineyard.

2 And when he had agreed with the labourers for a penny a day, he sent them into his vineyard.  The laborers agreed to a wage of a penny a day to work in his vineyard.

3 And he went out about the third hour, and saw others standing idle in the marketplace,  After three hours, the householder observed idle men in the marketplace.

4 And said unto them; Go ye also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right I will give you.
And they went their way. (?) The householder told the idle men he would pay them a right wage.

5 Again he went out about the sixth and ninth hour, and did likewise.

6 And about the eleventh hour he went out, and found others standing idle, and saith unto them, Why stand ye here all the day idle?

7 They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, Go ye also into the vineyard; and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive.

8 So when even was come, the lord of the vineyard saith unto his steward, Call the labourers, and give them their hire, beginning from the last unto the first.

9 And when they came that were hired about the eleventh hour, they received every man a penny.

10 But when the first came, they supposed that they should have received more; and they likewise received every man a penny.

11 And when they had received it, they murmured against the goodman of the house,

12 Saying, These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day.

13 But he answered one of them, and said, Friend, I do thee no wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny?

14 Take that thine is, and go thy way: I will give unto this last, even as unto thee.

15 Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good?

16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.

My first take is: Opportunity is provided in the beginning by one to all.  All may choose to capitalize but may not be able at the same time.  The ones who chose first are no better than the ones who chose last, their reward is still the same.  This is at the discretion of the good man.  One can assume the evil eye might respond differently.  The one who agrees to terms with another may not change those terms, only the maker of those terms has that option.

Upon re-reading this parable, I am at first confused.  When verse 4 states “they went their way” it could be understood as they left (as it is meant in verse 14).  Verse 15, the householder becomes slick and uses a leap in logic by attributing the laborer’s “evil eye” to the householder’s goodness rather than his obvious lack of fairness.  The householder even contradicts himself in verses 4 and 7 by telling the men he would pay them what was “right”.

Verse 16 explains the actual proceedings and but does not explain the logic.  Why pay more for less?  Won’t the next harvest find these early risers hiding at the tavern until the 11th hour?

In the parable each of the people and the places, wages, and hours are symbolic.

19:30 But many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.

The well-tended vineyard is the symbolic image of Israel, God’s obedient people of the Old Covenant Church in covenant with Yahweh.

In verse one Jesus says this parable is about the coming Kingdom of Heaven that He has come to establish; therefore this parable is about the new Israel and the New Covenant Church.

  1. vineyard = the Church, the kingdom of heaven on earth/house of God
  2. housemaster/lord of the vineyard = God
  3. laborers = those who serve the kingdom/house of God in the Old and New Covenants or who come to serve the kingdom at different ages in a lifetime.
  4. market-place = the world
  5. foreman who pays the promised wage for service = Jesus
  6. wage = salvation
  7. hours = the age of man in salvation history from Creation to the end of the age of man and/or the lifetime of a person from birth to the end of life

Whether a person is baptized at birth and continues to serve the Lord all his life or the person who is called in his youth or middle age or even the person who answers the call to salvation at the end of his life, God’s gift of salvation is freely given in every case.

House Church

Matthew 25:14-30 – The Parable of the Silver Pieces

  14. For it is as if a man, going on a journey, summoned his slaves and entrusted his property to them;
  15. to one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability.  Then he went away.
  16. The one who had received the five talents went off at once and traded with them, and made five more talents.
  17. In the same way, the one who had the two talents made two more talents.
  18. But the one who had received the one talent went off and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.
  19. After a long time the master of those slaves came and settled accounts with them.
  20. Then the one who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five more talents, saying, “Master, you handed over to me five talents; see, I have made five more talents.”
  21. His master said to him, “Well done, good and trustworthy slave; you have been trustworthy in a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.”
  22. And the one with the two talents also came forward, saying, “Master, you handed over to me two talents; see, I have made two more talents.”
  23. His master said to him, “Well done, good and trustworthy slave; you have been trustworthy in a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.”
  24. Then the one who had received the one talent also came forward, saying, “Master, I knew that you were a harsh man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed;
  25. so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground.  Here you have what is yours.”
  26. But his master replied, “You wicked and lazy slave! You knew, did you, that I reap where I did not sow, and gather where I did not scatter?  …worthless, lazy lout!
  27. Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received what was my own with interest.
  28. So take the talent from him, and give it to the one with the ten talents.
  29. For to all those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away.
  30. As for this worthless slave, throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Summary Matthew 25 Parables

Ten Virgins 1-13: I tell you, I do not know you.

Five virgins were foolish; The foolish said to the sensible, “Give us some of your oil…”;  Master answered, “I tell you I don’t know you…”

Silver Pieces 14-30: You worthless, lazy lout!

Master handed over funds according to each man’s abilities;  …out of fear…; those who have not will lose even the little they have.

The Last Judgement 31-46: Out of my sight, you condemned…

…go off to eternal punishment…

St. Isidore

Lost Chickens and Found Hope, Desperation Meets Desolation

This morning one of my six-gifted Buff Orpingtons went missing.  I observed only five hefty hens roaming the Coop de  I.a today.  Our late night out left the flightless avians vulnerable.  Did the guardians sleep through a raccoon reconnoiter?  Look for feathers.  Blood.  Find the headless hen.  I contained and counted my other fifty-eight fowl.  All accounted.  There must be evidence.  Should always be evidence.  Good job farmer.  First panic, then think.  Yesterday, you let the Buffs bound from their bastion for the first time.  In their delight, they roamed the range.  From turkey shed to trailer bed and all mysteries in between.  She, the missing, could still be desperately hold up in a fenced area, perimeter, or another deadly and predatory cardboard box.  Stop thinking.  Listen.  That egg laying cackle.  She lost now found…laying an egg.  Next door in little Coop de I.b.  The prodigal poultry produced.  Plus egg.

When emotion trumps reason initially, one proves to be human.  But if emotion never finds reason, one submits to irrational.  If emotion reigns during decisions and dealings, she allows her emotional flood to soak endeavors and stall the clever.  Any generous individual who ventures into the land of giving gets taken.  Desperate people survive through boldness.  You extend to the beggar a penny, the hand demands a pound.  The newborn philanthropist recoils once at this avarice and often retreats. Panic, much like that with a farmer’s lost chicken, over powers reason.  The reason for generous giving in the first place now grounded by generous taking.  The anatomy of needy and function of fortune-less must be understood before surgically removing poverty with stitches of charity.  The tactics of the desperate need be known, else one’s wealth stealthily moves into the poor’s pocket.  The beliefs of the bold cannot be altered.  The giver must balance beggar beliefs against continued contributions and the welfare of all involved.

Needy people develop tactics when the beggar’s cup rings empty.  Be it a lion’s den or a stranger’s, the family patriarch or matriarch moves brazenly to support the family’s immediate needs.

Desperate people rise to survival before descending to consent.

Bold people emerge from poverty after beliefs find no humanity.

Stand and deliver gifts, but not all of them.  And not all that could be given.  And only what you want to give.

 

House Church

The Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13:1-21, 22, 23)

The Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13:1-21, 22, 23)

  1. That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the lake.
  2. Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach.
  3. And he told them many things in parables, saying:
  4. Listen! A sower went out to sow.
  5. And as he sowed, some seeds fell on the path, and the birds came and ate them up.  Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and they sprang up quickly, since they had no depth of soil.
  6. But when the sun rose, they were scorched; and since they had no root, they withered away.
  7. Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them.
  8. Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.
  9. Let anyone with ears listen!
  10. ’Then the disciples came and asked him, ‘Why do you speak to them in parables?’
  11. He answered, ‘To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given.
  12. For to those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away.
    • What they HAVE is “spiritual wisdom”, those who have NOTHING have “no faith”.
  13. The reason I speak to them in parables is that “seeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand.”
    • This little verse may have at least three points to consider.  First, veiled truth is told to those who do not want to hear it.  Second, a powerful message goes forth but it does no harm if ignored.  Third, if it sets men thinking, it can bring them to faith.  Jesus must speak and move in veiled ways, much like many authors through the centuries wrote their fiction in the form of roman à clef in order to speak the truth in deadly times.
  14. With them indeed is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah that says:“You will indeed listen, but never understand, and you will indeed look, but never perceive.
    • Isaiah’s words are not a command but a prediction of what the people will do.
  15. For this people’s heart has grown dull, and their ears are hard of hearing, and they have shut their eyes; so that they might not look with their eyes, and listen with their ears, and understand with their heart and turn—and I would heal them.”
  16. But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.
    • Those people in our lives who taken for granted, who exhibit trust and kindness and forgiveness, they are our eyes and our ears, but we don’t see or listen.  We believe that our selfish sense is what is important even as we descend from happiness and distance ourselves from humanity, civility.
  17. Truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it.
  18. ‘Hear then the parable of the sower.
  19. When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart; this is what was sown on the path.
    • The birds that came and ate the seed that was sown on the footpath represent the evil one who comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart?  Is the evil one the devil or anyone, including self, who steals from the heart for selfish reasons?
  20. As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy;
  21. yet such a person has no root, but endures only for a while, and when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, that person immediately falls away.
    • The rocky ground represents the person who can hear and see and receives joy but has no depth of devotion.  The sun represents trouble or persecution that rises when wisdom is awakened.  Without depth of understanding, commitment to patience and wisdom, and strength to endure pain, even good news will rationalized and forgotten.
  22. WHAT WAS SOWN AMONG BRIERS IS THE MAN WHO HEARS THE MESSAGE BUT THEN WORLDLY ANXIETY AND THE LURE OF MONEY CHOKE IT OFF.  SUCH A ONE PRODUCES NO YIELD.
    • The company we keep or pursue can amount to briers that choke us of yield while giving us the impression of bounty.  The perils of this world and also its luxuries powerfully choke us of the ability to be a planting and a product of wonderful growth and harvest.
  23. BUT WHAT WAS SOWN ON GOOD SOIL IS THE MAN WHO HEARS THE MESSAGE AND TAKES IT IN.  HE IT IS WHO BEARS A YIELD OF A HUNDRED- OR SIXTY- OR THIRTY-FOLD.
    • It is a mature person, no matter the age, who recognizes the good seed landing in the good soil and then grows.  Life’s opportunities and natural potential are constantly availed to us and we need to recognize the shallow paths we may be walking, the tangled briers stalking us, the rocky ground we choose to tread, and the fertile deltas that we may pass.

This parable presents double meaning to me.  The seed here represents God’s message but to me the seed could represent many things.  In addition to God’s message, it could also represent, growth of both good and evil.  Winning and losing, life and death, marriage and divorce, benefit or crime.  All acts in life have within them and outside them opportunities, possibilities, and potential for moving forward on various paths.  Winning a game might justify an opportunity to rest.  Losing could inspire examination and strengthening one’s skill.  One’s life is a solid block of opportunity.  Another’s death might allow for sculpting an unfinished legacy.  A marriage might be a new beginning in happiness or the continuing of old family tradition of misery.  Every mutual financial endeavor potentially hold’s mutual benefit or individual crime.  Making the most of life’s fallen seeds depends on one’s outlook and another’s guidance.

Pub Theology

Possibility, Potentiality, Opportunity, Expectation, Desire – In Everything?

  1. Whether parents realize it or not, every family has favorites.  Do parents realize they have a favorite? If or when a parent becomes aware of parental favoritism would or could anything change?  Can favoritism affect a child’s potential?
  2. The best living arrangement of all (with regard to substance abuse) includes three adults – typically, mom, dad, and a grandparent.  However, 59% of children will live in a single parent household at some point in their formative years.  Children of single mothers had substance abuse problems only 1% greater than the children of two biological parents.  Explore and explain.
  3. The one thing you can bet your paycheck on is the First Born Child and Second Born Child in any given family are going to be different.  If the second born is superior physically or intellectually, how does the first born cope?  Is the Second Born Child ever the favorite?
  4. Scientists at Cambridge University have found that arguments between brothers and sisters actually increase social skills, vocabulary and development.  Chinese children do worse in [social skills] tests than British and American children because of [China’s] “one-child” policy.  Can China’s future international relations and policies be predicted by its now relaxed family planning experiment (1978-2015)?  Is it apparent in today’s headlines?
  5. The First Born Child is a perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, a list maker, well organized, hard driving, a natural leader, critical, serious, scholarly, logical, doesn’t like surprises, a techie.  The Only Child is a super or extreme version of a First Born Child.  Are Only Child expectations positively extreme or morbidly excessive?

……………………………………………………..

The relationship of family to disease, addiction, sadness and happiness.

Birthing order and number of children.  Family situation both parents, one parent, divorce, widow, grandparents.

Family Favorites

Dr. Ellen Weber Libby, The Favorite Child,

Whether parents realize it or not, every family has favorites.

Does every family have favorites?  If children were parented equally would they turn out the same?

Do parents realize they have a favorite? If or when a parent becomes aware of parental favoritism would or could anything change?

Who fares better in the long run the favorite or the neglected?  Which is more difficult a family favorite who discovers the world doesn’t favor them or a neglected that the world seems to favor?

“If I were to be absolutely honest, my older son is my favorite.”

reductio ad absurdum

All families have favorites.

Family favorites do better.

Family neglected do worse.

Birthing Order

Dr. Kevin Leman, The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are,

The one thing you can bet your paycheck on is the firstborn and second-born in any given family are going to be different.  If the second born is superior physically or intellectually, how does the first born cope?

Is birthing order significant?  Is the first born always superior?  Is the second born always striving?

German researchers found that birth order had no effect on five key personality traits: extroversion, emotional stability, agreeableness, conscientiousness and imagination.

Scientists at Cambridge University have found that arguments between brothers and sisters actually increase social skills, vocabulary and development.

First is the Worst, Second is the Best, Third is the one with the Hairy ChestÖ

First born is worst born.

Second born is different and best.

If birth order has no effect on key personality traits, how is second born best?

Which Traits Fit You Best?
======================
Which of the following sets of personality traits fits you the best? You don’t have to meet all the criteria in a certain list of traits. Just pick the list that has the most items that seem to describe you and your way of operating in life.

A. perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, a list maker, well organized, hard driving, a natural leader, critical, serious, scholarly, logical, doesn’t like surprises, a techie

B. mediator, compromising, diplomatic, avoids conflict, independent, loyal to peers, has many friends, a maverick, secretive, used to not having attention

C. manipulative, charming, blames others, attention seeker, tenacious, people person, natural salesperson, precocious, engaging, affectionate, loves surprises

D. little adult by age seven, very thorough, deliberate, high achiever, self-motivated, fearful, cautious, voracious reader, black-and-white thinker, talks in extremes, can’t bear to fail, has very high expectations for self, more comfortable with people who are older or younger

If you noted that this test seemed rather easy because A, B, and C listed traits of the oldest right on down to the youngest in the family, you’re right.

If you picked A, it’s a very good bet you’re a firstborn in your family.

If you chose B, chances are you are a middleborn child (secondborn of three children, or possibly thirdborn of four).

If C seemed to relate best to who you are, it’s likely you are the baby in the family and are not at all happy that this book has no pictures. (Just kidding–I like to have a little extra fun with lastborns because I’m one myself. More on that later.)

But what about D? It describes the only child, and I threw it in because in recent years I have been getting more and more questions from only children because families in general are having fewer children. These only children (also known as “lonely onlies”) know they are firstborns but want to know how they are different from people who have siblings.

Well, one way they are different is that the only child is a super or extreme version of a firstborn. They have many of the same characteristics of firstborns, but in many ways they’re in a class by themselves. More on that in chapter 7.

Notice that regarding each major birth order, I always qualify the characteristics by saying “good bet” or “chances are.” Not all characteristics fit every person in that birth order. In fact, a firstborn may have baby characteristics, a lastborn can sometimes act like a firstborn in certain areas, and middle children may seem to be firstborns. I’ve seen onlies who you would swear were youngest children. There are reasons for these inconsistencies, which I’ll explain as we go along.

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Middle children get a bad rap—they’re often stereotyped as the black sheep, overlooked by parents and overshadowed by older and younger siblings. But certain middle child personality traits give them special, badass hidden powers.

Broken Heart Syndrome

Dr. Nicholas Christakis, M.D., The Harvard Medical School study

Our study shows that people are connected in such a fashion that the health of one person is related to the health of another,

Broken heart syndrome most often takes place in older people who have been together for a long time.

Can one really die from a broken heart?

Is dying from a broken heart the best way to die?

You can die of a broken heart — it’s scientific fact —

Only Child

Granville Stanley Hall; in his 1896 study, Of Peculiar and Exceptional Children,

Being an only child is a disease in itself.  Is being an only child pure love or pure indulgence?

Is being an only child a disease?  Is being an only child a blessing?

Only Child myths include: an only child is lonely, and depressed, has imaginary friends to balance out their loneliness, violent and pushy, selfish, dependent, spoiled, does not have their own original ideas and views, lacks talent.

Being an only child is a disease.

Only child myths have been debunked.

Only children are no different than those with siblings.

…Chinese children do worse in [social skills] tests than British and American children because of [China’s] “one-child” policy.

Parenting
Bella DePaulo Ph.D., Children of Single Mothers: How Do They Really Fare?

The best living arrangement of all (with regard to substance abuse) included three adults – typically, mom, dad, and a grandparent.

Is a broken family always bad?  Is having a grandparent always good?

59% of children will live in a single parent household at some point in their formative years.

Having both parents and at least one grand parent is the best family living arrangement.

More than half of American children will live in a single parent household at some point in their formative years.

Do the best children come from households with three familial adults?  Do single parent families produce the worst kids.

Children of single mothers had substance problems only 1% greater than the children of two biological parents.

Children of single mothers had substance problems — 5.7% — and how similar the number was for the children of two biological parents — 4.5%. A difference of about one percentage point is not a very big return on twice the love, attention, and resources.

Bad Parents

It would actually be a lot easier to talk about “good dads” in the Bible, rather than the “bad dads,” because there were a LOT of bad dads, but very few good ones.

The Bible talks about bad dads.

Divorce

Humans tend to remember emotional events, so if your parents divorced, the emotional tumult will act as an anchor within your interior seascape.

Media

”Hollywood is significantly responsible for the infantilization of America,” says Leon Wieseltier, the cultural editor of The New Republic. ”Almost all those movies that are not suitable for children are irredeemably childish.”

The Bible and Family (Matthew 10:34-36)

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.  For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.  And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.

Parenting’s Most Important Role

Aristotle said that a parent’s primary duty should develop a child’s capacity to reason about, and to understand, what is right and what is wrong.  If a single parent has favorites but teaches each to reason right from wrong has that parented righted the wrong of favoritism?  Does good reasoning trump bad parenting?  Can abused children reason their way out of their past?

Family Roles

The Hero is usually the oldest child in the family and their role is to over achieve, to be over responsible.

Often the youngest child in the family assumes the role of Mascot.

The Scapegoat brings the family together in a perverse way, and can make them feel good about themselves by comparison.

The Lost Child goes unnoticed and can disappear for hours.

1. Enabler

The enabler means well but their efforts are counterproductive – for the addict and for themselves. This person is usually the closest to the addicted person, and their aim is to help the addict. But the reality is that they do things that allow the addicted person to continue their behavior without facing the consequences. For example, they might cover up or make excuses for the addict’s behavior at work or school or with friends. Or the enabler will take care of tasks that should be attended to by the addict, like paying bills, or work around the house, or getting the car serviced – or a hundred other things that the addict should be taking care of but is unable or unwilling to do. The enabler does all this because it is painful for them to confront the reality of their predicament and is desperate to protect themselves and their family. In the end, though, the enabler is left exhausted and angry – and the addict is no closer to getting better. In fact, the addict is getting the message that they don’t have to confront their drug problem because someone will always be there to save them.

 

2. Hero

This person is usually the oldest child in the family and their role is to over achieve, to be over responsible. They will typically be model students and, later, very career-oriented. In families wracked by shame and guilt over addiction in the home, here is a family member they can point to with pride. This child may take on the responsibilities of the addict father and become the family breadwinner at an early age. Or he may become the surrogate husband, giving his mother the emotional support she should be getting from her spouse. Heroes are seen as having it all together, as being mature and responsible. The price for putting all their energy into achieving, though, is that these heroes of the family rarely feel good inside. Instead of being in touch with who they are and what they require, they have sacrificed their emotional lives trying to preserve the family unit.

 

3. Scapegoat

In families made dysfunctional by addiction, one of the children will assume the role of the troublesome child. Here is someone whose bad behavior can be acknowledged by family members – unlike that of the addict. The scapegoat brings the family together in a perverse way, and can make them feel good about themselves by comparison. This child also provides family members with a focus that enables them to avoid facing their own problems. In a situation at the breaking point with stress over the addict’s behavior, the scapegoat becomes a means of releasing anger and frustration.

 

4. Lost Child

This role is assumed by the child who has decided that the best way of surviving in the home made unsafe by addiction is to keep a low profile. This child is often the one who has not received as much love and care as his siblings. The lost child goes unnoticed and can disappear for hours. They learn not to ask questions that might upset others, and they recognize that the best way to avoid attracting critical attention is to keep to themselves. Because they are “out of sight, they are also out of mind”, and usually feel unimportant.

 

5. Mascot

Often the youngest child in the family assumes this role. By the time this child comes along, the family dynamic has deteriorated to a serious state of dysfunction. This is the child who is coddled and kidded, who is a source of amusement for family members. The older siblings are well practiced in their various compensatory survival roles, and their tendency is to want to protect the youngest member. They may withhold information from this child and pretend for his sake that all is well. Yet despite all the efforts to protect this child from the truth, he cannot help but discover over time that something is drastically wrong with his family dynamic. Though he may not be able to name it as addiction, it affects him just the same.

 

 

Opportunity vs Potential

House Church

You are the Answer to Prayer – Unabashedly

Chapter 11, Unabashedly Episcopal, by  Bishop Andrew Doyle

God’s hand with them, lead them, serve you, dwell with you, through Jesus.

Harvest is great, laborers few;  Prayer is fate, let us renew.  from Luke 10:2

Asking is not praying and a harvest is not always bountiful.  You may sometimes ask for help but you should always pray for it.

Mark 4:3-9  Some seed sown is eaten, Some seed sown without depth and had no roots.  Some seed sown and choked immediately and did not yield.  Some seed sown good and produced.  The parable does not say that sowing with wild abandon resulted in fruit coming up all around.  Great harvests are due to great care in the sowing and great production from good soil.  There is always a harvest but the harvest is not always good.  From a good harvest, one only prospers in fruit.  From a poor harvest, one might prosper in knowledge…Missioners can be found in the halls of Congress or sacrificing in a crisis and more, each and all a heritage.

— Many have Labored Before Us

A mission of healing, preaching, and announcing the reign…A wooden box can be many things, or it can be just a box.  It can hold books that instruct.  It can be a bookshelf, a piece of furniture.  It can be a coffin for the laborer returning from the final harvest…be a sower of seeds…in a variety of places and in all kinds of soil…

  • Jackson Kemper – first missionary bishop to go West.  One man can build a college, seminary, outreach, and inspire…are we doing at the present moment even one tenth part of what we are capable?…Many owe birth and life to the missionary spirit.
  • Julia Chester Emery – A Century of Endeavor – a chronicle of the great missionary age…provide hospitality…faithfully care for the infirm…coordinate and encourage…the first foreign field of the Episcopal Church, the strange new land of Texas…those whose hearts burned for mission and whose giving under-girded the proclamation.
  • James Theodore Holly – the first African-American bishop…serving in the new Diocese of Haiti…freed slave…namesake…a dispute about ordaining local black clergy…as the last surviving apostle of Jesus was in tribulation on the forlorn isle of Patmos…to free before emancipation, to bring a better life before they could achieve it themselves.
  • Lillian Trasher – she canceled her wedding, sure that God had called her to serve…Acts 7:34…send thee to Egypt…pray for a life that reflects the light.

— Called to be Missionaries – caring for abandoned and malnourished…reconcile love with the world in word and in action…Lucien Lee Kinsolving…help others to find respite…accumulated masses of debris were visible on every hand…remaking and reshaping and re-imagining.

— Generous Evangelism – mission is creative and energetic, adventurous and inspirational, and it is inevitable… I am a better person because now I know that my value is not based on the world’s calculations…Little Things Can Make a Big Difference, Malcolm Gladwell…faith we would inherit…a few people making little changes will happen steadily, organically, and exponentially through generous evangelism…movements are more like an epidemic than an economy of scale…renewing, restarting, renovating.

— Taking the Message on the Road – Gospel news…makes a lasting difference…we have each had resurrection moments, and thanks to our own personal evangelists, we could understand just what was happening…The only way the tipping point occurs…is through us…people in pews with private, polite, personal Jesus…seekers can smell inauthenticity a mile away…The harvest is outside…Matthew 23:37…The world needs a vital, living missionary organism.

— Unabashedly Episcopalian – How will we know…?  We will know we are making progress when evangelism…and caring for others become the hallmarks of the Episcopal Church once again…We will know we have turned a corner when our leadership…is more diverse ethnically…the only way we find is to walk outside…even while we look it may cease to be an unfinished vision by becoming transformed into a consummate reality.

St. Isidore

Evolving with St. Isidore

I became involved with St. Isidore after seeing a Meetup.Com session titled Pub Theology, subtitled Important Questions, Good Conversation, Great Beer.  I attended enthusiastically that Tuesday night, more than a year ago.  The experience evolved into me becoming one of Pub Theology’s most loyal disciples.  I became more involved when invited to a house church meeting sponsored by St. Isidore.  I attended, only curiously, that Sunday afternoon a few months ago.  I left uninspired but still curious.  I volunteered for St. Isidore’s Laundry Love outreach after that house church meeting. It inspired me to see a church in action and the poor being served.  I started to believe in the spirit – of what they were doing.  But it wasn’t until they came to me when I was in need that my curiosity became convinced and I evolved into a believer in the St. Isidore vision.

All of these programs were initiated by the young priest Sean.  He went into this endeavor with eyes wide open.  A millennial decorated with tattoos,  experience in the corporate world, a foul mouth and bubbling with enthusiasm, he approached the new millennium with old style worship.  Commune together.  Provide for others.  Make religion enjoyable for those who have forsaken it.  Putting diverse age groups together for questions and conversation would have some of the same problems as putting family members together for talks.  Bringing strangers into a lay person’s home for bible study would include the intensely religious, the loosely affiliated and the outright atheist.  Outreach to the poor would help many, could be taken advantage of and might cause unexpected results when laundry money is being dispensed in a crowd of poor and unknown persons.

House Church

The House Church Movement – What are THEY Saying?

I wish to write of my experiences with St. Isidore’s different missions.  One of these is the House Church.  Following is some research and review on that subject.

Wikipedia “House church”

A house church describes a group of Christians who meet in a private home which may be part of a larger Christian body or independent from any larger group.  Sometimes the reason for a house church has to do with its small membership while other times it has to do with Christians being banned from meeting in any venue (as is the case in China).  Some Christian groups believe that house churches are a better form of outreach and still others contend it was what Christ intended.  The New Testament speaks often of house churches, which were the only option for 300 years until Christianity was legalized by Constantine.

The modern revival of the House Church in North America and the United Kingdom can be traced, in part, to the feeling by many unfulfilled church goers that traditional churches fail to meet their relational needs.  Some supporters of the movement consider House Church a misnomer, preferring other monikers which better describe its function rather than its location, such as “simple church,” “relational church,” “primitive church,” “body life,” “organic church” or “biblical church.”  For example, organic church expresses that the group takes on the pattern of a living organism.  Though the origins are varied, one philosophy is: …if people would not come to church, the church must go to the people.

Sometimes, traditional churches must cut mission funding to support the cost of fixed church expenses for buildings and salaries.  House churches can have more money for missions, less pressure to fill pews, and do not resemble the mega-church which can become a big monster which eats everything that is given and can be given and still constantly asks for more.

SteveBremner.Com: 5 Things the House Church Movement is Getting Wrong

Steve Bremner wrote 5 Thing the House Church Movement is Getting Right – which I am not evaluating.  I feel that the Wikipedia coverage sufficiently addresses many of the points addressed by Bremner’s positive piece.  I am curious about his counter point so I address it here without first reading the first article.

Generally, Bremner says that the House Church Movement is like other prior movements intended to address the faults of the institutional church but over compensates to correct the institutional errors such as pastor, pews, programs, buildings, indifference, hierarchy, etc.  He lists the 5 faults in no particular order as:

  1. Meeting in houses does not necessarily solve the problem that being institutional allegedly creates. Bremner states that neither location or size is inherently spiritual.  However, from my point of view, a home is in actuality personal, private, and welcoming much more immediately than a big building and  possibly a long journey.  I feel this point is moot, using the modern meaning of the word.
  2. Inward focused.  Again, Bremner uses the term inherent, as in members feel that they are inherently different because they are meeting in a house.  Also, some members feel that a house church can become just another social meeting place which abandons its initial objectives.  These things probably are true in some cases but they are surely true in institutional churches.  So I’ll use Bremner’s term to say that just because it’s a house church does not mean that it will inherently become a social club without any outreach.
  3. Not making disciples.  Bremner here avoids using the term inherently by substituting ipso de facto, nice.  He somehow states that member to not become disciples via osmosis, duh.  Certainly, any church, large or small, must have content, intent, and extant meaning.  This makes 3 for 3 on his non-point points.
  4. Not Evangelizing.  Again, I think Bremner is missing the point.  Most non-believers are turned off by overt evangelizing.  However, most people of all stripes find evangelizing by example irresistible.  Once one sees another walking the walk, living and acting in full compliance to the word, there is little to find fault.
  5. Arrogance of ‘doing church the Biblical way’.  Bremner writes of an admittedly extreme case where the house church movement led to prohibition from associating with institutional churches and isolation of the individual house church congregation.  He is describing cult mentality and the warning and need to avoid such a consequence goes without saying.

This counterpoint article did not add much to my understanding of the house church movement in terms of “don’t” other than pointing out some obvious, obscure, and moot points.  Glad I evaluated it though!

Reviewing the two articles, Wikipedia’s “House Church” and Steve Bremner’s “5 Things the House Church Movement is Getting Wrong” might seem tedious, so I’m going to attempt this by taking my talking points from a third article from TheHumanist.Com, titled “This Sacrilegious House of Cards Scene Even Shocked Some Atheists” by Maggie Andriente. Specifically, the article is written about a Season 3 episode prefaced by such terms as “deliciously obscene”, “binge-watching a sport” and referencing a prior episode scene where Frank Underwood urinates on his father’s grave which she understatedly supposes would be offensive – at least to religious conservatives. So, let’s get going.

Season 3, episode 4, Frank converses with a Bishop about the fire-and-brimstone of God in the Old Testament but the Bishop’s response disappoints him.  Unconvinced, Frank walks to the alter and, standing before a statue of Jesus, spits in Jesus face.  This scene improbably led to the religious right to wonder why Hollywood wasn’t equally offending other religions.  How does this relate to either of the two prior articles?  Well, the call for equal offensiveness against other religions would seem to be a contrary position to take for a group whose necessity to meet in private houses during Christianity’s birth years was a result of persecution.  Also, attracting others, whether it be to a house church or institution, can not be served by seeking retribution towards other religions because they are different or individuals because they spit in the face of a un-offended statute.

A conservative actor then leaps from his Hollywood spitting in Jesus face to the left pissing on Christianity as a whole.  Wow.  Let’s see if we can find leaps like this in Herr Bremner’s 5 Faults.  Maybe Bremner’s point 3 applies here.   Bremner states that members of a house church can’t become disciples through osmosis.  That leap presupposes that disciples can’t be produced outside the house church.  The whole reason for house church is that institutional religion is not working.  Discipleship must be activated by use of a new serum – good old contact and content.  Don’t leave conversion up to the congregant, make it a part of the congregation continuing discipleship.

The best point made in this article is: …respecting sacred space and accepting such space as sacred are two different things.  The house church like institutional chapels or cemeteries deserve respect, silence, and reverence, no matter the religion or lack of it.  Yes, house churches should not become social clubs or cultish extremes and the few that develop are not representative or likely to subsist.  To base criticism or things that might happen or did happen in the media are not reasons to discount a movement that attempts to reverse the trend of people turning away belief in something greater than them and towards something less likely to satisfy their eternal needs.

Pub Theology

The Generation Gap – Speak to Me of This: An Article

I am an old resolved man in a new irresolute world.  I can’t accept that I am passe, yet I must.  I loath the the new rude, still I have no choice but to embrace them.  My accommodation of youth’s rampant avarice seems endless and empty, but it is the only tool I have in my meager chest.  Survival in a social world that does not respect prior generations, let alone value the accumulated wisdom acquired through time honored failures.  It is with these impressions that I endeavor to write about elements of The Generation Gap.

The Joseph E. Stiglitz’ article in Project Syndicate, titled The New Generation Gap, examines some of the reasons for the Gap.  Nobel laureate Stiglitz sees voting patterns on both sides of the Atlantic divided less by income, education, and gender and more by generation.  The chasm dividing the old and young is the difference between their accumulated past and their narrowing future.  To the old, the Cold War and failed social experiments are realities alive in their memory.  To the young, the Cold War is a stale slice of history and the failures of the past are moldy mounds of ancient lessons learned in spreading a green patina over a second look, and with no reigning reason to discount, let alone rebuke.  Socialism’s concern for all collections of people on this earth and ecology’s care for the each of earth’s species in their environment resonates with a great many individuals, if with only a few world leaders.

The older generation expected to be better off than their parents and even to take care of those aging parents.  The new generation expects to be better off with their parents and even to be taken care of by their aging parents.  Today’s young do not ponder which job to take but which job will take them.  They do not project how soon their job will allow them to buy a house but, rather, if it will afford them enough income to “game on” after making their student loan payments.  Retirement to the young is an obscure almost mythical land which always frightens the old – and for different reasons.  While the upper-middle class young may have inheritance as the only glow in their future, it is a dependence they probably resent, albeit a future immensely greater than the young middle and under-class majority with no inherent future.

So many did everything right (obey, study, listen), then watchedd those Baby-boomers and Gen-Xers, guilty of wrong-doing, walk away with mega-bonuses.  The high percentage of those who excelled in school see promises of prosperity come true – but only for the top 1%.  Injustice, inequalities, and distrust define our times to the young.  In Europe, center-left and center-right parties are seen as “more of the same” – and the centers are losing elections!  While in America, Republican candidates compete on demagoguery, directed at the aging generations; and Democratic candidates propose changes that could make a real difference for the younger generations, but can not get those ideals through congress.  Democratic candidates’ proposals would prevent the financial system from preying on the already precarious young, as an example.  Home ownership, retirement, and good paying jobs are out of reach objects for the the young – and they aren’t getting any closer.  Recognition by the older generation is part of the problem.  And part of the anger.

I found Mr. Stiglitz article informative without being comprehensive or convincing because he seemed to be reflecting his own opinions and not those of the young generations he spoke for and about.  I would have liked to see more direct input from the Millennial constituency and a more balanced bite-back of those who are accused of holding the young ones in check.  This subject is ever changing and evolving.  About the time the definition of a generation is starting to firm up – when it gets its name! – a new generation with a new identity has been delivered and the examination and dissection starts up again.

Quotations about the Generations:

GenX

For women, the sting of early-onset ageism hits hardest—men don’t seem to have a shelf life on relevance.  Is there a shelf life of relevance for women?  Is this an idea relevant only to Gen X?  Men do have a shelf life and it’s usually around the house, they do less, want more and are much too ungrateful.

Generation X—typically defined as those born between 1964 and 1980— I’m sensitive to stereotypes that we’re somehow tired and already “over” as we hit midlife.  Are Gen Xers over the hill or on top of it?  Are Gen Xers already at the bottom of the hill and heading underground?

Xers (Gen X = the “13th generation”) are the people who will tear/are tearing down the entrenched institutions of the Boomers (born 1946 and 1964), while the Millennials (a person reaching young adulthood around the year 2000) will be the ones to rebuild from the rubble and return order to the resulting chaos.  Are Boomers getting too much credit for the future debt crisis?  Are Xers in the trenches tearing down foundations fast enough to resuscitate the slowly suffocating earth?  Shouldn’t Millennials build something new instead of rebuilding from generational rubble?

 

Millenials

Leslie Anne Tarabella, mother of a 25 year-old ~ Attention everyone; in case you didn’t already know, we are no longer dealing with the greatest generation.  Are millenials not as smart or just as smart but in different things?  Should one’s expectations of different generations be modified? Dropped? Maintained?  Are there indications that Millennials will eventually become a Greater Generation?

Traditionalists

2nd Lt. John R. Pedevillano, age 93, WWII veteran and POW ~ There were 16 million other people in the service.  They’d done just as much as I did and deserved everything I’ve gotten.  What word describes this man’s sentiment?  He says he got what others deserved.  Does he feel humbled, ashamed or blessed?  How do you feel after reading this?

Baby Boomers

Gene Marks, Philly Magazine ~ Baby Boomers are, thank God, the last reminders of our racist, homophobic, sexist past.  Is “last reminders” accurate?  Are racist, homophobic, sexist attitudes passing away in this America?  In this town?  In this room?

The New Rude
Do you forget to RSVP? Or accept knowing you won’t turn up? How about cancelling with a two-word text?  You could be from any generation but if you are guilty of the above, you are a member of The New Rude Generation.